Part_Timer
Well-Known Member
brett holman......../end joke
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Jokes
- Thread starter Melsy - One step
- Start date
T
Well-Known Member
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!"
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
says "Dam!"
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
Marinerchick
Well-Known Member
A Newcastle couple were walking out of a divorce court,
the wife is crying her eyes out. The husband says for f**k sake
stop crying your still my sister ..
the wife is crying her eyes out. The husband says for f**k sake
stop crying your still my sister ..
W
Wilson
Guest
Pluim Park
FFC Mariner
Well-Known Member
How do you get an investment banker off your doorstep.................................
pay for the pizza
pay for the pizza
Capn Gus Bloodbeard
Well-Known Member
Melsy - One step
Well-Known Member
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole ( looking up).
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.
Paddy replied, "We're supposed to be finding the f-'n height of this flagpole, but we don't have a f-'n ladder."
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, "Isn't that just like a blonde!
We need the f-'n height __ and she gives us the f-'n length."
A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.
Paddy replied, "We're supposed to be finding the f-'n height of this flagpole, but we don't have a f-'n ladder."
The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, "Isn't that just like a blonde!
We need the f-'n height __ and she gives us the f-'n length."
Alicia
Well-Known Member
WHERE DO RED-HEADED BABIES COME FROM?
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said'.
'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'
'It isn't possible,' the man insisted.'????? ?'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed .. 'I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.'
'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust.'
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!'
'Nonsense,' the doctor said'.
'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'
'It isn't possible,' the man insisted.'????? ?'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'let me ask you this. How often do you have sex??? '
The man seemed a bit ashamed .. 'I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.'
'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently.
'It's rust.'
bathurstmariner
Well-Known Member
Q: What's bad about 5 Jets fans driving off a cliff?
A: There was room for one more in the boot.
A: There was room for one more in the boot.
Capn Gus Bloodbeard
Well-Known Member
bathurstmarinator said:
A: Knowing that your car is now at the bottom of a cliff.
loyalist
Well-Known Member
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live.
"What about your parents?" asks the social worker.
"No, they beat me," says the boy.
"What about your grandparents?" says the social worker.
"No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy.
"Well, where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker.
"Tottenham," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone"
"What about your parents?" asks the social worker.
"No, they beat me," says the boy.
"What about your grandparents?" says the social worker.
"No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy.
"Well, where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker.
"Tottenham," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone"
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