Jokes

[T]

Q. Why do women wear knickers??
A. Because work health & safety state all manholes must be covered when not in use.

 

[midfielder]

Funny

 

[midfielder]

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and realistically'?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your  sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?

The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars? The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?

The boy then went to his brother and asked, Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars? Of course, the brother replied. Do you know what a million bucks would buy?

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between potentially'  and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars ... but 'Realistically', we're living with two hookers and a homo.

 

[tikky]

Funny joke
But no offence, I read it as the postman!
It is better IMO as most females would sleep with Brad Pitt for nothing whereas for a postman it is different.

Anyway here is my joke
Little Johnny is organising a game of football (soccer) at the park. Whilst recruiting players he asks a boy nearby "Do you want to play soccer?"
The little boy says "Sure, but I don't know the rules!"
Little Johny then replies "Great, you can be the referee!"

I rofl'd hard when I read this joke!

 

[priorpeter]

Spose that's how sheild started.

 

[BiggusMickus]

Funny joke
But no offence, I read it as the postman!
It is better IMO as most females would sleep with Brad Pitt for nothing whereas for a postman it is different.

Anyway here is my joke
Little Johnny is organising a game of football (soccer) at the park. Whilst recruiting players he asks a boy nearby "Do you want to play soccer?"
The little boy says "Sure, but I don't know the rules!"
Little Johny then replies "Great, you can be the referee!"

I rofl'd hard when I read this joke!

I didn't think it was polite to correct other people's jokes?

In my opinion a funnier Johnny joke is.....

Johnny is sitting in class and desperately needs to use the bathroom.
Thrusting his hand into the air, Johnny shouts out to the teacher "Miss, I need to take a piss!"
The teacher replies "Johnny, the correct word is urinate. When you can use urinate in a structured sentence, you may go to the bathroom and releave yourself"
After thinking for a while Johhny thrusts his hand into air once more and shouts out "Miss I got one"
"Yes Johnny" the teacher replies "Go ahead"
To which Johnny says "Miss you're an eight but if ya' had bigger tits you'd be a ten"


Now that little tikky is farkin funny!

 

[serious14]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes??



Nothing, you've already told her twice......

 

[kevrenor]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes??

Nothing, you've already told her twice......

Please post in the correct threads ... this is the Joke thread!

The words skating ... thin ... and ... ice come to mind

 

[Paolo]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes??



Nothing, you've already told her twice......

 

[serious14]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes??

Nothing, you've already told her twice......

Please post in the correct threads ... this is the Joke thread!

The words skating ... thin ... and ... ice come to mind

*nods*  Sorry chief.

;D

 

[T]

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Man Utd striker Diego Forlan?

A: Clinton can score.

 

[T]

Q: How do you make a Scum fan run?

A: Build a job centre.

 

[T]

Q: What tea do footballers drink?

A. PenalTea!

 

[serious14]

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Man Utd striker Diego Forlan?

A: Clinton can score.

As if that's not more offensive than my one...... KevRenor, I demand action!!!! 

 

[T]

David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank,
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Beckham "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Beckham. The receptionist replies
"Well David, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

 

[bjw]

Might offend a few people.... sorry in advance

Q. Why was WYD held at Randwick

A. Cause its the only legal place to ride a 3 year old.

 

[serious14]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mariners4ever]

Might offend a few people.... sorry in advance

Q. Why was WYD held at Randwick

A. Cause its the only legal place to ride a 3 year old.

thats pretty bloody good

 

[clarence]

You know what happens next...........

Memo: Craig Foster. Notice who wins?

Show off at the fights.

[flash=200,200]http://s135.photobucket.com/albums/q149/lbitros/?action=view&current=CapoeiraFighter.flv[/flash]

 

[Stavros]

David Beckham has gone crazy believing Posh has been having an affair on him. In manic rage, he goes out and buys a gun. He rushes home to confront his wife, and finds her in bed with none other than Ronaldo.
Devastated, Beckham takes out the gun and points it at his own head.
"No, David don't do it." Posh cries jumping up from her spot underneath the covers...."I'm sorry and I know we can work this out."
"Shut up and sit back Victoria." Beckham replies. "You're next."