The official all-purpose trolling bogan scum thread

[MagpieMariner]

Love it. Very creative.

 

[BrisRecky]

Home Invasion & Theft in Melbourne last nite:


Victoria's AAMI PARK suffered a 'break & enter' last nite.

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Police claim Melbourne City FC were the latest 'victims of crime' of a spree starting 3 weeks ago.

Witnesses described the group of suspects as being 'bogan' in appearance. They also stated that despite having instructions yelled at them by what clearly was a rather inexperienced 'leader', the other 16 suspects clearly had the 'art of thieving' inbred into them.

Onlookers were shocked to see the men disembark from a crappy old 'Syd Foggs' bus but with hotted-up spinners on its wheels.

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They immediately took hub-caps from a 'brand-new' Mercedes Bus parked nearby before all of the men proceeded to 'scumage' (sic) through garbage bins appearing to be 'looking for something to eat', they then were seen putting their finds into matching bags that all the men were carrying.

At this point the men ran up a tunnel to a grassed area where they haphazardly engaged in more shenanigans. This lasted approx 1 & 1/2 hrs with the suspects so confident that they stopped for a brief period after 45mins.

At this point they broke through the door of the canteen and proceeded to 'refresh' themselves, downing ALL of the drinks from the Clubs fridges. None of the foodstuffs were touched, Police say most likely due to their bags being full from raiding the bins on their initial entry.

The Forensics Investigative Team at first thought they had 'made-off' with only 1 point of interest.

However after careful video analysis it was determined that a combination of 'poor security' at the 'rear' and the aide of an un-known dickhead that was seen blowing a whistle through-out the entire B&E led to an actual total of 3 points of interest bring 'nicked'.

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The taking of these 3 points was also attributed to one of the main persons of interest, a Carnival worker or 'Carney' as more commonly known, who in previous years has conned a number of Dutch nationals on working visas.

This 'Carney' character was finally found out by one of Australia's finest, Sth Melb Detective Angelo Postie-cog-loo. The Detective saw to it that he was eventually deported to f**kstanistan or some similar country but has somehow managed to slip back into Australia in recent years and is currently taunting Postie-cog-loo over that deportation.

Police say this 'Carney's' influence within the crime gang is 'overly hyped', similar to his crimes against Australian citizens in previous years, which 'Carney' would have been better spent working his fathers Dodgem Cars business.

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or his mothers ping-pong eating clowns.

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The police are confident of apprehending this group, mainly in part due to the fortunate find of a small but rather significant piece of evidence that fell from the group leader's bag.

A wooden spoon, and a very well worn one at that.

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Superintendent Gallop say's this confidence of apprehension comes from finding 'identical' wooden spoons at other crime scenes up and down the east coast of Australia as well as other Capital cities. It seems that wherever they go the 'wooden spoons' are not far behind.

The only other thing left behind was a distinct 'Scummy' smell. Witnesses described it to be similar to that of a 'new-car-smell' BUT only after someone had stolen the car & left a freshly laid shit under the drivers seat.


Police are continuing with their Investigations and are appealing to the public for any information to call CrimeStoppers or the FFA.

OUT-FKN-STANDING !

 

[true believer]

Post of the year

 

[Timmah]

For all the shit we copped for the palm tree...

 

[dibo]

Wow, that's f**king shit.

 

[FFC Mariner]

Wow, that's f**king shit.

Not Palm tree shit though.

They will only buy it if there is a $19.99 best and less version

 

[shipwreck]

Please tell me that is a joke?

I wonder if the Jets are going to update their crest once the JSFs come online and the Hornets are retired...

 

[dibo]

They have until 2050 to worry about that.

 

[sydmariner]

For all the shit we copped for the palm tree...

& I thought our new kit was shit

 

[Capn Gus Bloodbeard]

Hahahahaha that jersey is hilarious. My first reaction was 'this isn't real, surely?'
Looks like somebody's bad photoshop.
Still, the palm tree isn't even close to being as bad as MV's Council Worker jersey

 

[Gratis]

as much as I would prefer it to be otherwise...I don't mind it

 

[VicMariner]

Foxsports have a poll up, us vs Jets:
Which shirt is worse?

Time to represent! Vote now!

http://www.foxsports.com.au/footbal...air-force-jersey/story-e6frf4gl-1227613764818

 

[Capn Gus Bloodbeard]

The neutrals hate us more than Jets, so we'll probably lose.

If Victory released this jersey everybody would be reaching for the nearest box of tissues, of course....

 

[FFC Mariner]

I would vote against our shirt

 

[Capn Gus Bloodbeard]

I don't mind our shirt. I'd put it 5th worst:

Worst - MV's "Road worker at night" Jersey
2nd worst - this Jets one
3rd worst - any of the Jet's weird bronze/brown coloured ones
4th Worst - the recent MV jersey that looks like a Sydney Away Jersey (not that it's a bad jersey, just that it looks like the wrong team)
5th - our palm trees. And that's only because the Navy one drags it down.

 

[adz]

They can't even beat us at dodgy shirts.
Theirs is pretty bad, but I think ours shows extra effort by using clip art.

 

[FFC Mariner]

There is clip art of spooge?

 

[Wombat]

It's a shocking shirt.

 

[sydmariner]

They have until 2050 to worry about that.

lol the ffa won't fund them for that long

 

[BrisRecky]

For all the shit we copped for the palm tree...

I thought that shirt covered in f-111's was a mock up...but it aint...