Jokes

[Jimmy]

Bloody disgraceful...not hard to see why some people think the Coast is full off racist, uneducated Bogans.
Thankfully thats only a stereotype and not everyone is as mentally challenged and insensitive!

 

[serious14]

'cause it's my name??

 

[Sym]

Kareem, no offence but what was that outburst all about ?

Midfielders joke ? that was like a month ago so you were waiting to let rip for a month.

We like to joke and not take things too seriously so it's just good to take things that way.

(it's always good to be anti serious )

 

[hasbeen]

I had an Aunty Serious and she was a bundle of laughs ...

 

[Dr Nick]

Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away

 

[midfielder]

Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away

hehehe well spotted..

 

[Kareem]

Kareem, no offence but what was that outburst all about ?

Midfielders joke ? that was like a month ago so you were waiting to let rip for a month.

We like to joke and not take things too seriously so it's just good to take things that way.

(it's always good to be anti serious )

i actually did a smiley 'redcard' within 24 hours...

my outburst was at the fact someone actually found it funny...and it was 2 weeks later!

and my outburst...well maybe some people dont appreciate the seriousness of racism. With jokes like that...it can give out the idea that racism is alright sometimes- when does it stop? Where is the line?

I like Fifa's iron fist, anti-racism policy!

 

[Jimmy]

*Palm To Face*

 

[Sym]

Sorry dude, it's gotta be done

I like Fifa's iron fist

LOL !

 

[Hagar the Horrible]

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading....

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they're so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!

 

[midfielder]

I like that ...

 

[Jimmy]

It's only important if kareem likes it tho.
Is it too sexist?
Where'd all the feminists go?
They should be on their soapbox.

 

[fish]

A man is queueing at the 5 items or less checkout.The girl in front turns around and looks at his basket.He has a 4 pack of lager and an Indian meal for 1.She smiles at him.He looks in her basket and sees a half botle of Lambrini and a Chinese meal for 1.He says to her "you're single aren't you?" She gives a girly giggle and says "yes ,how did you know?" The man replies "coz you're f**king ugly"

 

[midfielder]

A man is queueing at the 5 items or less checkout.The girl in front turns around and looks at his basket.He has a 4 pack of lager and an Indian meal for 1.She smiles at him.He looks in her basket and sees a half botle of Lambrini and a Chinese meal for 1.He says to her "you're single aren't you?" She gives a girly giggle and says "yes ,how did you know?" The man replies "coz you're f**king ugly"

ARRRRrrrrrrrrr made my day ... heaps funny..

 

[Gopher of Pern]

New Moon: The story of a girls choice between Beastiality and Necrophilia

 

[hasbeen]

I got arrested yesterday for organising a drag race along the Promenade. I would have got away as well if one of my f***ing heels hadn't have snapped.

 

[dibo]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"
New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right"
New Zealander: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?"
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
New Zealander: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
New Zealander: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
New Zealander: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
New Zealander: "The sheep's a liar"...

 

[FFC Mariner]

Winner - love it

 

[soundsdifferent]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"
New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right"
New Zealander: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?"
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
New Zealander: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
New Zealander: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
New Zealander: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
New Zealander: "The sheep's a liar"...

So good!

 

[hasbeen]

Bumped into a man crying uncontrollably in a shopping centre today. All he could go on about was how he hates this time of year, having to dress in a ridiculous red outfit and embarrassing himself in front of thousands of people. I said, "Look Mr Gerrard, you chose to play for Liverpool!"