Fine...... by popular demand. Note, may be accentuated for comic value:
From my friends at "The Oxford Dictionary".
Football player
noun - an athlete who engages in the game of football
Football
Noun - a game played between two teams of 11 players, in which the ball may be advanced by kicking or by bouncing it off any part of the body but the arms and hands, except in the case of the goalkeepers, who may use their hands to catch, carry, throw, or stop the ball
Now, what's wrong with this picture, and 'my mate Hutch'.
i). NOT ONE F*CKING TIME YESTERDAY DID THE USELESS BARGEARSE _ADVANCE_ THE BALL UP THE FIELD.
ii). FALLING ON THE BALL AND MOANING TO THE REF DOES NOT CONSITUTE "PLAYING THE BALL WITH ANY PART OF THE BODY EXCLUDING ARMS, YOU F*CKING TWAT!!!!
iii). an athlete he may be, but was he engaged in the game of football?? No sirree bob. And that attempted "goal line clearance". Ffs.......... I thought we called that 'near post defending', not "near post own goaling". GET RID OF THE BALL OUT OF YOU OWN AREA, IT'S AN ELEMENTAL PART OF THE GAME!!!!!
Now, our friend, heart of the team, truth-balcony-debunker - he once again took his spot in a faux LM-CM yesterday. Common wisdom in football might suggest that aside from the goalie, one of the most important positions on the field is that of a central midfielder (for those just joining us, CM = central midfielder). A position where one is required to defend when needed, and become the fulcrum of around half of the attack (the rest being spread down the wings). Now, when we're engaged in the shit we played yesterday (more on the "tactics" later - seriously Lawrie, wtf??), that is completely nullified, and we come to a situation where we find that the 10 minutes of the game where we feel like playing the ball on the ground, we need a player who _promotes_ attack, who is worthy of such an important position on the team.
Andre Gumprecht I hear you cry?? Nope, relegated to the bench (that off season business perhaps?? Not enough gametime?? Who knows - all we care about is results _on_ the park)
Tommy Pondeljak?? Nope, we sold him to Melbourne. F*CKING OOPS!!!!!
Greg Owens?? Nup, injured (can't blame anyone for that, but he'd be better than the dross Hutcho is serving up).
Adrian Caceres?? Nah, he's too busy being wasted in one of the worst tactical deployments I've ever seen Lawrie engage in. Not that it was rectified yesterday at all........ at any stage........ not even after it was painfully obvious by about the 20 minute mark that he was being kept out of the game and was DESPERATE to return to a roaming role behind the strikers.
Instead, we are left with a slow, defensive liability who does nothing but fall on his arse and cry when the referee doesn't give him a free kick, WHO BRINGS _NOTHING_ TO OUR ATTACK!!!!! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!
WHY DOES THIS SITUATION PERSIST WEEK IN, WEEK OUT?? I DON'T GIVE A FLYING f**k IF HE'S THE HEART OF THE TEAM - IF THAT'S THE CASE, THEN THIS HEART HAS CANCER, AND IT NEEDS AN URGENT TRANSPLANT FOR A PLAYER WHO _HAS_ HEART, WHO _HAS_ SOMETHING TO OFFER AND WHO LOOKS LIKE HE GIVES A FLYING F*CK WHETHER WE WIN A GAME OR NOT.
AND MOST OF ALL, WHO KNOWS HOW TO PASS THE F*CKING FOOTBALL THE F*CK FORWARD!!!!!!!
HUTCHO OUT, GUMPS IN!!!!!!! Surely even you most ardent of Hutcho supporters can see that this situation has moved from a joke I used to have with a few of my mates in the bay to something that everyone in the Kendall (excepting Table Trollop, but they're just twits
Secret confessions post game reveal they feel the game way!!!
) last night (one or two exceptions, as always) commented on, to the point of UptheGuts staging an impromptu vote of "Hutcho out", with a lot of people agreeing.
This is the Spencer situation all over. BUT, he contributed something to our attack, even if 90% of his passes were backwards....... his free kicks, whilst not dynamite, gave us _something_. And another tall presence in the box.
Look, this might be a comedic rant, but I'm making a serious (HA!!!) point here. For the good of the team, Hutcho needs a spell on the bench, or in the youth team. If only to give him a solid kick up the arse and make him realise that his "contributions" on the field are nothing short of "diabolically wasteful".
As for Lawrie's "tactics" last night.......
Oh, you wanted an actual dissection of those??
What's to say?? Lawrie strikes me lately (well, most of last season and all of this) as a reactive manager these days, and it's not a situation that suits us well. Waiting until the 78th minute before a tactical change (substitution or formation shuffle, either way) isn't good enough.
Cast an eye towards Asia people - if we played like we did yesterday in Asia against say, Gamba Osaka, in Japan......... could you seriously imagine what the score would be?? *shudders*
I might seem like a negative ranter all the time, but I love this team just as much as the rest of you, and I just want us to play to our full potential. At the moment, we aren't really near that, but we're not that far away. Football might seem like a complicated game, but only if you make it so. It's 22 blokes chasing a ball around a park for 90 minutes. Keep the ball on the ground, offer something off the ball, change the game to suit us, not wait for the game to change on us. Etc. and so forth.
Oh, and sack Hutch.