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Quality Rant from UK

FFC Mariner

Well-Known Member
Rant from QPR message board. Loved it.

I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR
win at the moment.

I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dogs**t under the
likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier
and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.

The club isn't ours anymore but moreso than that - football is just
properly gash these days.

I mean really gash.

football generally.

I hate nearly everything about it these days....

I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City
breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of money.
It's no more exciting that Nameless C*** getting to number 1 in the
charts after winning the X-Factor.

I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's
17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20
after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever
happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money
thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the **** are Charlton,
Leeds and Southampton still in business?

I hate Frank Lampard's stupid f'ing face. I hate John Terry being
England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.

I hate the England team.

I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace.

I hate the FA Cup. There may be little shocks like last night but for
the most part you know who's going to win it. Unless a team throws
away all their financial security to win it a la Pompey.

I hate Harry f'ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp.
And the Wii.

I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

I hate Garth Crooks.

I hate Garth Brooks for that matter.

I hate Sky Sports.

I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the
keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards
it's amazing.

I hate that everything football related has to have 'Club Foot'
playing behind it.

I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

I hate Mark Lawrensen for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the
back'. I bet you do.

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other
than pain and disappointment.


I hate any advert that mentions pies at football.

I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game.
I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I
hate that it'll probably be us.

I hate Phil Brown.

I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers
real problems this summer' before EVERY F'ING TOURNAMENT.

I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this
post than I'll earn this month.

I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop f'ing lingering.

I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or
Bradford.

I hate that a comeback from 4-0 down at half time (TWICE) means
nothing because we aren't f'ing scouse.

I hate Leeds.

I hate Roy Keane.

I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst
shopping on a saturday when their team is playing at home.

I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.

I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then
sung in a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.


I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest
thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to
Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the
street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They
had 2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Fk
me... Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her
non-ghost written one.
 

MagpieMariner

Well-Known Member
Doesn't do it for me either, but then I'm not a Pom & I'm not a follower of English football. If I was either, I'd probably understand more than 5% of what he was talking about and find it amusing. Possibly :)
 

Arabmariner

Well-Known Member
F**kin hilarious !

I agree with a fair amount of that rant  ;D

Especially the bit about Gazza.......a fair few points there (he's on the list).......
 

FFC Mariner

Well-Known Member
Yup - I have Gazza too.

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other
than pain and disappointment.

/this

(PS Bear, if you had ever been to Shepherds Bush you would be bitter too)
 

midfielder

Well-Known Member
FFC

I think you rant from last season was better... the one where he wanted the entire squad fired...
 

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