Frienf of mine on another site sent me this...
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As I glided through the metal detector nothing seemed amiss. The TSA asked if I actually played rugby or if I just wore the sweatshirt. Had he not been protected by federal law I would have been tempted to ruck over his frail body and rake him directly. I politely explained I had played and then the X-Ray tech caught my attention. Were going to scan this again to check for liquids, he stated. Go ahead, I replied, knowing there were no liquids in my bag, or so I thought. After the second pass-through, the bag was going to need to be opened and hand checked. In my many years of travel I have been through this routine before. Sometimes they randomly search things.
When I saw a strange fluorescent cap I was startled and began to reach for the foreign object, still half buried. The TSA sharply pushed my hand away in a swift movement obviously learned at TSA academy. He then procured an object resembling a dirty bomb. To be precise, there was a fluorescent rubber vibrator duct taped to an Aquafina water bottle with 2 perverse homosexual playing cards. I only saw one of the cards which depicted two male lovers in a position simply referred to as: Prison Style. As my color shifted from pale white to an Irish, sunburned pink, it all became clear. My bosses (friends) had played quite a prank. I explained this to the TSA agent who seemed to agree, but was bound to follow TSA protocol.
The ol dick in the duffle had now become an official bomb possibility. I suppose the dildo would have served as a detonator while the Aquafina served as fuel. Undoubtedly the Prison Style card only served to complicate matters further. Was I an ex-con seeking destruction after an unfortunate shower incident? After the crude device was disassembled, I was instructed to hold the appendage out in front of me. I asked for gloves like he was wearing. No dice. I gingerly grabbed the device near the testicular region. He said I needed to use both hands (indicating I should handle the shaft). I gingerly placed my other hand also near the ball region. (I have standards.) Then my hands were swabbed for explosive residue. After repeating the routine with the water (much easier to swallow), I was asked if I would like to keep the prosthetic penis and playing cards (H2O was off limits). I quickly declined his generous offer and made my way through security looking back to find the entire department in a fit of laughter.
Enjoy my embarrassment.
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Embarassing, but funny.
Anyone here got funny stories about Airport Security? I'm sure Serious has some
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As I glided through the metal detector nothing seemed amiss. The TSA asked if I actually played rugby or if I just wore the sweatshirt. Had he not been protected by federal law I would have been tempted to ruck over his frail body and rake him directly. I politely explained I had played and then the X-Ray tech caught my attention. Were going to scan this again to check for liquids, he stated. Go ahead, I replied, knowing there were no liquids in my bag, or so I thought. After the second pass-through, the bag was going to need to be opened and hand checked. In my many years of travel I have been through this routine before. Sometimes they randomly search things.
When I saw a strange fluorescent cap I was startled and began to reach for the foreign object, still half buried. The TSA sharply pushed my hand away in a swift movement obviously learned at TSA academy. He then procured an object resembling a dirty bomb. To be precise, there was a fluorescent rubber vibrator duct taped to an Aquafina water bottle with 2 perverse homosexual playing cards. I only saw one of the cards which depicted two male lovers in a position simply referred to as: Prison Style. As my color shifted from pale white to an Irish, sunburned pink, it all became clear. My bosses (friends) had played quite a prank. I explained this to the TSA agent who seemed to agree, but was bound to follow TSA protocol.
The ol dick in the duffle had now become an official bomb possibility. I suppose the dildo would have served as a detonator while the Aquafina served as fuel. Undoubtedly the Prison Style card only served to complicate matters further. Was I an ex-con seeking destruction after an unfortunate shower incident? After the crude device was disassembled, I was instructed to hold the appendage out in front of me. I asked for gloves like he was wearing. No dice. I gingerly grabbed the device near the testicular region. He said I needed to use both hands (indicating I should handle the shaft). I gingerly placed my other hand also near the ball region. (I have standards.) Then my hands were swabbed for explosive residue. After repeating the routine with the water (much easier to swallow), I was asked if I would like to keep the prosthetic penis and playing cards (H2O was off limits). I quickly declined his generous offer and made my way through security looking back to find the entire department in a fit of laughter.
Enjoy my embarrassment.
-----
Embarassing, but funny.
Anyone here got funny stories about Airport Security? I'm sure Serious has some
