Cricket Sledge Thread

[Sean]

Found one of these on another forum and thought I would start one off here as we have a few cricketers on here.

One of my favourites has to be when Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him, Cullinan replies "looks like you spent it eating,"

Rod Marsh to Ian Botham - So how's your wife and my kids?
Botham's reply - The wife's fine, the kids are retarded

 

[Atomic]

Excuse the paraphrasing and the poor recollection...

Mike Whitney beat Viv Richards with an absolute pearler of a delivery. The Whit was so fired up, he walked down to the Great Man and held the ball up to his face and said "it's small, red and round... see if you can hit it next time". The next delivery was sent out of the ground for six. Viv laconically says to Mike "You know what it looks like... you can go and get it".

The lesson of the story is... never sledge a legend.

 

[marinermick]

Excuse the paraphrasing and the poor recollection...

Mike Whitney beat Viv Richards with an absolute pearler of a delivery. The Whit was so fired up, he walked down to the Great Man and held the ball up to his face and said "it's small, red and round... see if you can hit it next time". The next delivery was sent out of the ground for six. Viv laconically says to Mike "You know what it looks like... you can go and get it".

The lesson of the story is... never sledge a legend.

the best sledge ever, however it was not mike whitney, it was some bowler in county cricket


A New Zealand player comes in to bat and plays and misses twice. Mark Waugh said "I remember you, you were the players who could not bat when we played you two years ago and you still cannot bat now."

The New Zeland player says "I remember you. Two years ago you were going out with a really ugly girl and two years later you have now married that old slapper."

Was in reference to Mark Waugh's ex-wife who was ugly and a few older than him.

 

[Costar]

Best sledge ever

Glenn McGrath to Eddo Brandes (Zimbabwean bowler).

Glenn:  Why are you so fat?
Eddo:  Because every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit.

First time I read it I was crying with laughter.  The missus was wondering what was going on and I read it to her.  Result = both of us doubled up laughing.  Still makes me chuckle.

 

[Bear]

Best sledge ever

Glenn McGrath to Eddo Brandes (Zimbabwean bowler).

Glenn:  Why are you so fat?
Eddo:  Because every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit.

First time I read it I was crying with laughter.  The missus was wondering what was going on and I read it to her.  Result = both of us doubled up laughing.  Still makes me chuckle.

People at work are looking at me like im a dickhead (wonder why, hmm) cos iv been laughing for 5 minutes. Ill remember, and use that one

 

[bradley]

steve and mark waugh's younger brother dean was playing grade cricket in sydney....

after a few swings and misses the bowler goes up to waugh and askes if he was adopted????

 

[tuftman]

99 WC Steve Waugh to Herschelle Gibbs "Mate, you've just dropped the World Cup"  Waugh went on to make 120
Inzamam Ul-Haq the former Pakistani captain to Brett Lee "Stop bowling off-spinners"
the best i've heard was after David Hookes died and there was a tribute show for him..the centenary test match was the scene, and Hookesy was in the process of taking Tony Grieg apart
Grieg "When are your balls going to drop sonny?"
Hookes "I dont know, but at least im playing cricket for my own country"

 

[crooksey]

A few of my personal favs that haven't been mentioned

Fred Trueman - While bowling the batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother," he replied.

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad - During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please," Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards - During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Dont you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k off."